Tank You, Tank You Very Much!

For yesterday’s (April 1) Discover Prompt, I’m retelling one of my favorite longish jokes from elementary school. I love this joke so much! It tickles me every time. You be the judge if the pay off is worth it.

Once, this young man joined the army. They were glad to have him. When it came time for rifle drills, the drill sergeant passed out broomsticks to everyone. He said, “Men, due to a shortage of supplies, we’re going to have to use broomsticks for rifles. So when you see the enemy in your sights, just hold the broomstick up as if you are aiming a rifle, and say, ‘Bang! Bang!’ The enemy will fall down dead.”

So they all went out to the shooting range and tried it out. The soldiers pointed their broomsticks and yelled out “Bang! Bang!” and the enemy fell down as if shot. But some of the enemy got too close and were able to get at the soldiers.

The drill sergeant said, “If the enemy gets too close, use your broomstick like a rifle with a bayonet on it. If you can see the color of his eyes, jab at him with the broomstick and say, ‘Stab! Stab!’ The enemy will grab his gut and fall down dead.”

They went back out to the shooting range. Things went well. They’d yell “Bang! Bang!” And the enemy would fall down as if dead. If an enemy got too close, they’d use the broomstick as a bayonet and say “Stab! Stab!” and the enemy would grab his gut and fall down as if dead.

Things went on like this, when a soldier spotted an enemy far off. He pointed the broomstick and said, “Bang! Bang!” Nothing happened. He thought, maybe he was too far off. He waited until the enemy got closer. He tried again. “Bang! Bang!” Again, nothing happened. “Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!” He got frantic because nothing was happening and the enemy drew closer and closer. He got too close. The soldier wielded his broomstick as if it had a bayonet attached. He thrust it at the enemy and said, “Stab! Stab!” And just at that moment, the enemy bowled him over, just as if he were a football player tackling him.

A bit dazed, the soldier lifted himself up to see the enemy keep going and hear him say, “Tank! Tank! Tank! Tank!”